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Writer's Ashlar

It Will Pass

An Entered Apprentice was waiting to enter the lodge. He sat down with the Tiler and said, “My life is in chaos! I feel so distracted, I cannot concentrate on my questions and answers, and I’m so tired that I keep falling asleep in lodge. This is just horrible! What shall I do?”

“It will pass,” the Tiler said matter-of-factly.

At the next lodge meeting, the EA came back to the Tiler. “You were right! Everything is great now! My life is in order once again, I can focus on the questions and answers, and I’m not too tired to pay attention in lodge.”

“It will pass,” the Tiler said matter-of-factly.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Except for a handful of officer’s installations, I haven’t been to a lodge function, let alone a lodge meeting in two months.

It’s not that I’m upset with anybody there, or because I haven’t paid my annual dues (umm… I’m pretty sure I sent out that check), or because they don’t serve low-carb dinners. It’s because after 2 -1/2 years of a miserable economy, I’m suddenly working like crazy. Customers that pushed off orders indefinitely all seem to be calling them in. While this is a good thing indeed, at the moment we’re lacking in manpower to meet the demands. I’ve had to cut 30% of our personnel over the last couple of years, and now we’re trying to meet production schedules with the people that are left.

I’m not sure if this is a sign that business in general is coming back, or if it’s simply a temporary spike as customers replace depleted inventories; accordingly, I’m hesitant to hire more people in case I have to let them go in a few months. This means that I spend half of my days doing paperwork, and the other half working out in the shop; I’ve been working twelve to fourteen hours a day, and by the time I get home I can barely stay awake enough to read my messages and do a little internet surfing. More than once my wife has nudged me when I’ve started to doze behind my laptop. I have a few other writing gigs, and lately I’m way behind because I’ve been falling asleep at the keyboard.

And of course, holidays, family time, school plays, music recitals, charity functions (can you believe that not every community function I do is not some Masonic thing?), home repairs, and the annual pasta dinner at the local church fill in the other gaps in my many heures joyeuses.

My lack of personal time has also taken a toll on my blogging — I barely seem to get an article in each month. It’s not for a lack of ideas; I’ve got a dozen drafts that I get a couple of paragraphs into, and then can’t seem to finish because after a week or two I lose the train of thought behind them. I used to write a bit in the morning, but lately, instead of writing I head to my exercise room (actually, it’s the laundry room-slash-pantry) and work out for an hour. Sit mens sana in corpore sano and all that. Actually, those of you who have been following my Tweets, Facebook, or Buzz have seen my not infrequent complaints about my exercise routines, my diet, or my (lack of) weight loss — and even at that, I can barely find enough energy to micro-blog more than a couple of times a day. I mean, how much energy and inspiration do you need to grind out 140 characters?

Anyway, you’re not here to read about my busy life. You’ve got your own busy lives, and can barely squeeze in enough time to read your favorite blogs.

Over the last few years, I’ve met people in town who say things like “Oh, my father (brother, grandfather, uncle, husband) is (was) a Mason.. But he doesn’t go anymore.” When I ask about this, it seems that many members stay active for about 10 years or so, and then wander off into other things. Yes, there are exceptions, but those that do seem to lose interest after that time rarely come back. Perhaps it’s because many of the people that they knew — the officers and other regulars — have also run through their own 10 year span; when a member goes back and doesn’t recognize anyone, he feels out of touch, and loses the motivation to come back again.

Or maybe it’s because, having been an officer, perhaps even having been the Master, they no longer feel that they have any purpose in the lodge anymore. Yes, I know that many Past Masters seem to believe that their purpose it to make the newer officers miserable, but I suspect that such PMs are actually a minority, albeit at times a loud, vocal, annoying minority. But some Past Masters really have no role in lodge anymore; once in a while they are called upon to sit in a chair for a degree, perhaps to take part in a Past Master degree, or maybe to deliver some lecture or charge on short notice.

Don’t get me wrong; I know that there are only 24 hours in a day, and only seven days in a week. But this is the longest I’ve been too busy to make lodge meetings, and it did make me wonder why some of us simply stop going and drift away. Were they suddenly too busy with work or family issues? Did they expect that it was only temporary, and that they would soon be back in their regular seats? When did they realize that they just aren’t going back at all? Does some psychic inertia take over that makes it just too difficult to start going again?

What do you think? What makes you or your brothers wander off for long periods of time? And why do you (or they) lose the motivation to come back?



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  1. A.C.
    February 13th, 2010 at 12:50 | #1

    I suspect I have ADD – I get obsessed with things in bursts, then leave them by the wayside when something else grabs my attention; it's not that I'm not interested in the former any more, it's just that I only have so much bandwidth to split between all of my interests.

    It's been about exactly two years since I was initiated, and in that time I've devoted quite a bit of time to Freemasonry – and if I continue in the officer's line I'm looking at devoting quite a bit more. It does preempt other things I might like to do with my spare time, and I have no doubt that if and when I step down from a year in the East, not having to attend rehearsals, lodges of instruction, fraternal visits, official visits, et cetera will be so liberating that I may all but disappear for a while.

    And there's always the guys who get really into one of the appendant bodies and leave blue lodge behind.

  2. M.M.M. From the North Eastern Corner
    February 17th, 2010 at 02:20 | #2

    Tom,
    I am starting to think that your run of the mill lodge just does not deliver the goods so to say. Its just like other relationships when there is the infatuation period when you eat, sleep, and wake for that something developing into the building comfortable period where you are working on making it happen and then comes the seven year itch where you wonder what other stuff is like. Some guys get the red convertible and drive off into the distance but why?
    I think with the younger guys if the expectation level is never met they are gone (except us romantics who think they can revive the system). Older men who join seek some kind of camaraderie which fizzles out unless they fit in somehow. Others become GL types and burn out.
    Man, am I all over the place but anyhoo its tough to juggle everything and sometimes you need to toss a ball to the side for a while.

  3. Tom Accuosti
    February 17th, 2010 at 19:21 | #3

    I tend to be self-motivated, but I guess that once in a while, it's good to have a little inspiration to help that along. I guess I could say that I haven't felt inspired, but I'd be hard pressed to tell you what such inspiration would be like. I mean, the lodge is the same, my GL duties haven't changed… or maybe *that's* part of the problem. I don't know.

    But to be fair, a big part of this *is* work. I've been working 50 – 60 hours a week, and coming in for a few hours on the weekends lately. When I do get home (which is anywhere from 7 to 10 pm), I'm too tired to care much about anything except dinner, a hot shower, and bed.

  4. CFPeterson
    February 19th, 2010 at 20:53 | #4

    Everyone gets busy and has responsibilities that suddenly eat up their time. The loss would be when your work doesn't demand so much time but you find yourself involved in something new to occupy your evenings, then before you know it you realize you are more interested in your new hobby than going to lodge. Though there is much more to freemasonry than just being a hobby, it does compete for personal time with such things.

  5. 2 BOWL CAIN
    February 24th, 2010 at 13:00 | #5

    Once the Veil is removed, it takes some longer than others to be able to leave something they worked for.

    Most of us do not want to let go of something we worked for and dedicated and sacrificed for.

    but in the end, what is really being offered to the members?

  6. Tom Accuosti
    February 24th, 2010 at 13:36 | #6

    Umm… yeah. Sorry, 2 Bowl, but I think you've missed the point here.

    And I have to say, I often wonder what make my impression of Freemasonry so completely different from your own.

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