The Tao of Masonry

Although I haven’t had much time to write lately, it seems that another of our esteemed brethren has been hard at it. Masonic Traveler, a collection of essays and thoughts about Freemasonry by Greg Stewart, has just been released, and it looks to be an excellent read.

Masons familiar with the internet probably remember Greg from various web forums. More recently, however, he would be found on Freemason Information, a blog aggregate on which he frequently posts essays and commentary, and on Masonic Central, the well known podcast that he runs with co-host Dean Kennedy.

Greg has always had an esoteric bent, and I expect that his book will reflect his own personal journey. I’m sure that it will make an excellent addition to your already overcrowded Masonic library.

Okay, okay, I know I promised a Brownout for the rest of the month – a Dan Brown Free zone. But I really can’t resist posting excerpts from the Cracked book review.

Note: ‘R’-rated language and adult situations follow:

The novel begins with Robert Langdon being invited to speak at a conference in Washington by a man who will inevitably die in the first few pages. Sure enough, after arriving in the Capitol building, he discovers a gruesome murder scene laden with dense Masonic imagery and blood. Langdon then spends the next couple of pages kicking down doors and looking behind curtains, trying to find who’s fucking with him. He is pissed. “Who do you think I am, fucking Angela Lansbury?” he screams.

Still, Brown’s eye for detail and knowledge of the minutiae of famous historical sites is superb, and it immediately becomes clear he’s still a master at weaving a gripping yarn. A scene where Langdon and his companion visit the Lincoln Memorial and climb up the hollow pant leg, to discover the true Emancipation Proclamation (it’s a huge gold penis) packs more tension and interest than a dozen Nick Cage turdstravaganzas.

I won’t spoil who the true villain of the novel is (let’s just say he’s the CEO of Apple) but the antagonist who features most prominently throughout the course of the novel is a tattooed Masonic thug named Mal’akh. Throughout the novel he uses his secret Masonic powers (polishing, grout work and levitation) to stymie Langdon’s efforts at every turn.

Langdon’s romantic interest this time around is Dr. Katherine Solomon, a specialist in noetic science, which is a field I’m not even going to bother relating here. OK, I lied. It’s horseshit. Regardless of her career, like all of Langdon’s companions, her sole purpose is to ask a lot of leading questions to Langdon as they rush past important pieces of art. She’s also the descendant of King Solomon and has a map to the moon tattooed on her back–facts which may become relevant in later chapters.

The long delay in this book sparked rumors that Brown had developed a case of writer’s block. Others have less charitably suggested that, buoyed by success, Brown had developed a distaste for the formula that made him a success and was raging internally at having to write another such piece. You can see this conflict when in one early scene, a character remarks to Langdon about how much he enjoyed reading about his antics in Paris a few months ago in The Da Vinci Code. When Langdon turns his back the character makes a “jerking off” motion with his hand. Even stranger is another scene set at a cocktail party, were actor Tom Hanks meets Langdon and tells him that he likes the “cut of his jib.” Another character nearby, introduced as Ban Drown, comments: “Can you believe the sheep who keep eating up this shit?” He then shares a high five with Tom Hanks, before they drive off together in a Hummer-limo full of models.

Anybody interested in reading Chris Bucholz’s unexpurgated review can see it at the Cracked Magazine blog: A DaVinci Code Sequel Review.

ETA: I left a follow-up comment on the Cracked blog –

This was excellent! The online Freemason community has been concerned that Brown’s latest book would make Masons look like a bunch of old guys who just sit around their old buildings and complain about this new “rock” music that the kids keep talking about.

We’re so relieved to hear that everybody will now think of us as secretive homicidal fanatics.

I posted some excerpts from this in my blog, and linked back to you. Please ignore those black helicopters patrolling your neighborhood.

Connecticut is split up into 9 Masonic districts, and each district has periodic meetings, generally the last week of the month on 5 week months to avoid clashing with regular Stated Communications. It’s a time for the officers and other interested members to see what’s happening in other lodges, and to get to know their counterparts in other lodges. You never know when you’ll need help from a sister lodge; a few bodies to help round out an MM degree, perhaps that guy who does such a great job on a Charge, or maybe you need to bring a candidate up because he missed your scheduled degree night. These meetings, the Blue Lodge Councils, are the place to make that happen.

Some districts have progressive and forward-looking people who manage to plan and organize interesting programs, so as to attract more brothers, and give them something worth traveling for.

Unfortunately, that guy in the 5th district is on vacation. That’s why next month, the only interesting thing that’s going on is a visit from this particular dummy.

Yes, that’s right – On Thursday, September 25th, the 5th District Blue Lodge Council will be held at Unity Lodge No. 148 in New Britain, at which we will be treated to the comedy stylings have the noted author (and fellow blogger) Chris Hodapp.

Dinner will be served at 6:30 pm, and non-dummies who would like to watch the show attend need to contact Bro. Dave Stern to reserve a place. The gig meeting will start around 7:30 pm. We expect quite a few of the purple apron crowd, so plan to be there ahead of time to get a good seat.

Brother Hodapp is actually exceptionally well-read, and can always be counted on for good insights and great stories and observations. He will be promoting his books, among which are Freemasons for Dummies, Conspiracy Theories and Secret Societies for Dummies, The Templar Code for Dummies, and Solomon’s Builders.

I know that I’ll be there; I’m going to bring my big orange book and ask Bro. Hodapp to autograph it for me.

Tao of Masonry | Freemasonry | Masonry