The Tao of Masonry

It seems that I joined the wrong lodge. Or perhaps the Grand Lodge has been holding out on me.

Apparently not satisfied with generously sharing the bank accounts of deposed princes (for a small fee), Nigerian Freemasons have been offering a special deal: Join now, and after your initiation ceremony, you’ll be awarded such things as:

• A Cash Reward of USD $300,000
• A New Sleek Dream CAR valued at USD $120,000
• A Dream House bought in the country of your own choice
• One Month holiday (fully paid) to your dream tourist destination.
• One year Golf Membership package
• A V.I.P treatment in all Airports in the World
• A total Lifestyle change
• Access to Bohemian Grove
• One Month booked Appointment with Top 5 world Leaders and Top 5 Celebrities in the World.

All they need is $300 initiation fee, and in seven days, you can be driving your BMW to Oprah’s house to have lunch with the Bills (Gates and Clinton), and then you’re off to a round at Pebble Beach.

Well, not at first. They go on to say:

Once you make the Payment and after filling and submitting the Registration Form,you are then invited to the Freemason Lodge where you undergo the Initiation Ceremony.

Seven days after the Initiation Ceremony, you are then Invited to an Awarding Ceremony where you are rewarded with USD $300,000

This Money is to enable you change your Lifestyle and your standards of Living so as to match with that of the Club Members.

This is important, because Freemasons certainly can’t be seen hanging around with anyone that isn’t up to their standards. I’m sure I’m at the wrong lodge, because I have to park my Chevy pickup next to a Ford pickup, a Toyota Prius, and a few other cars that cost considerably less than $120,000.

Wait, what’s that? I missed the deadline?

DEADLINE FOR REGISTRATION IS: 30^thAugust, 2013.

NB: After the Expiry of the Deadline above, FREEMASON and ILLUMINATI Membership Registration will close indefinitely in the above countries.

Dang! I hate it when that happens.

For those of you who might be able to get your bank cheque off by tomorrow, you can see more information below.

Click here to view the actual website.