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Masons reveal Zombie Preparedness Plan

April 1, 2010 4 comments

Okay, the post title is a bit sensationalized, but we finally have proof of our theory that high-ranking Masons really have codified the methods that they have used since the Middle Ages  for killing revenants (i.e., zombies and vampires) in their secret rituals. What we have discovered is not so much a preparedness plan as a procedure manual that describes the methodology.

I’d like to say that I hacked the secret files to the Grand Lodge of Connecticut, because it sounds so dramatic, but the truth is more mundane. When I was down at the offices recently, one of the admins had left his PC on, and I noticed the passwords on a sticky note at the top of his monitor. When he stepped out for coffee, I just copied them down. Yeah, so not Kim Possible, but it worked. When I got home, I fired up my laptop and started browsing the folders. I skipped over the usual stuff on the Kennedys, the NASA/Zeta-Reticuli connection, public water flouridation, and found it hiding at the very end under Zombies.

Here is a link to a PDF file right on the Grand Lodge site that describes the ancient Masonic zombie-killing techniques.
EDIT: The higher-ups at the Grand Lodge have taken down the link, but I saved a copy which I’ve uploaded to my Google Docs. You can see or download it here: Zombie Expulsion.

Followup:

The secret lesson of Hiram and the Ruffians

Freemasons & Zombies: The Conspiracy

Freemasons reveal zombie preparedness plan

For those of you who are reading this on your phones and can’t open the PDF file, I’m reprinting the text below.

Read more…

Freemasons & Zombies: The Conspiracy

March 24, 2010 6 comments

A funny, yet eerie thing happens when you wander into the world of secret conspiracies; like  wandering the Cretan Labyrinth, it’s easy to lose sight of both your original starting point and your ultimate goal.

Our theory that early operative Freemasons became familiar with “revenants” (creatures that in folklore later became zombies and vampires), and codified the means of how to destroy them in certain ceremonies has been met with the expected amount of derision and skepticism. I think that many people simply fail to understand that Freemasons, being employed by the Catholic Church to work on their buildings, had a need to keep their activities on the downlow so as not to be accused of trafficking with the demonic by the less educated and more superstitious population.

We expected this when I volunteered to be the one to publish the ideas.

None of us believe that the revenants are supernatural creatures; those ideas didn’t come about until the Gothic period, when — ironically enough  — people began to be frightened by the idea of technology. No, we think that the historic records of the time will show that people were falling to an as-yet unnamed disease that caused the appearance of death, after which the victims became mindless eating machines (insert jokes about teen-aged boys here). Poor knowledge of medicine and other social factors contributed to the occasional outbreaks in the rural and wooded districts. Unfortunately, when people started moving to the cities in the early 1700s,  so did the outbreaks.

Initially, we theorized that high-level Masons were (although in league with the national and state governments) still keeping this quiet, so as not to alarm the general public, who have shown themselves to be more educated, but not really much less superstitious than they were in the Middle Ages. Naturally, this has met with a lot of skepticism from both Masons and non-Masons alike.

We expected this, too.

But what we did not expect was to be presented with an alternate theory: That the high-level Freemasons have been trying to educate the public by allowing them access to these rituals and ceremonies. Indeed, for the last several years, virtually every newspaper article, news show, or cable TV special has begun with “The once secretive Freemasons have begun to open their doors,” or “The secret mysteries of the Freemasons are being unveiled,” or “Freemasons, that once-secret society, have now begun to…”

The alternate theory, which we have found to be very compelling,  is that various Grand Lodges have been pressured by these higher-level Masons to show off a little, and to encourage non-Masons to look at our secret ceremonies, ostensibly to show that they are simply arcane rituals, but actually, so that the viewing public will understand what to do should there be a wide-spread outbreak of this unknown disease. Indeed, just the fact that we have come so far into the public eye in only a few short years suggests that the higher-level Masons may even expect that a wide-spread infection is about to happen.  Our rituals have been discussed in print by hundreds of authors, and in the last few years have been featured on the Discovery Channel, the History Channel, and several other cable TV specials. A generation ago — even ten years ago — this would have been unthinkable. Now we’re practically giddy when we think about it.

Ultimately, I expect that we’ll discover that our original conception was closer to the mark. But the idea remains: is it possible that an unknown disease — perhaps a new “superflu” is about to bring us culturally back to the Middle Ages?

Followup:

The secret lesson of Hiram and the Ruffians

Freemasons & Zombies: The Conspiracy

Freemasons reveal zombie preparedness plan

Lady Gaga: Musical Talent or Masonic Tool (of the Illuminati)?

February 24, 2010 10 comments

We listen to all sorts of music in my house, and the radio stations will often flip from “classic” rock, to 80s/90s alternative, to current pop, to NPR, and even AM talk radio. So, last year when Lady Gaga was the new, hot thing over the pop airwaves, I really got to enjoy listening to her witty lyrical takes on the New York club scene, and the music business.

Okay, let’s stop here. For those of you readers who have not heard of Lady Gaga, it’s time to unplug your AOL dial-up connection, order some broadband, and spend some time on Youtube.

Oh, and welcome to the 21st century.

Yes, the millennium finally ticked over a few years ago, and trust me:  it’s perfectly okay to put away your Lynyrd Skynyrd 8-tracks, your colored vinyl 33s of Sha-Na-Na, your bootleg cassette tapes of Grateful Dead concerts, and that Led Zepplin Stairway EP, at least for a little bit, and listen to some of the new music that has been made since the Beatles.  Nobody will judge you, and you might even find something interesting.

Anyhow, the other day I was idly skimming some humor website, when I ran across a post claiming that Lady Gaga was the latest example of how “they” (the Masonic-Illuminati-NWO konspiracy) was using the entertainment media in an attempt to control our minds. The post linked to an article on a particular blog which promises hours of entertaining reading.

Yeah, I know. Y’all think I’m kidding.

Back when I started this blog — going on four years, which makes it a teenager in blog years — I wrote a parody of the type of thinking that we typically encounter when Anti-Masons talk about the various flavors of Masonic conspiracies. And over the last few years I’ve written a few more articles based on the conversations that I’ve had with the Antis in real life and on various web boards. And yes, I get a few blog comments, and a few people catch me at a lodge meeting to chuckle over a recent post, but I know that most of you simply don’t take any of this seriously. I mean, it’s stupid — how could anybody take this stuff seriously, right?

Some of you would be surprised — nay, astounded  — at how often Masons are implicated in plots ranging from Zionism to the 9/11 World Trade Center attacks to NASA (and the secret bases on the Moon) to UFO & alien technology, to fixing the parking tickets for local politicians. Whew, we’re really busy bees, aren’t we? But naturally, all of those conspiracy theories are completely ridiculous. I mean, alien technology? Moon bases? Hah, don’t be ridiculous.

No, the real Masonic conspiracy is how we control the electronic media and how we manipulate the entertainment industry in order to engage in our mind control experiments.

Yes, that’s right: the  people who believe that Masons are using Hollywood to engage in mind control actually believe that they are smart ones.

And that brings me to my case in point: the meteoric rise to fame of  Lady Gaga. Her videos are supposedly filled with Masonic/Illuminati symbols, which prove the efforts of the Masonic controlled entertainment media to warp the mind of our youth.

This is the contention of The Vigilant Citizen (“Symbols rule the world, not words nor laws”) in a series of articles that he has done over the last year. Here’s an example:

My first article on Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta called Lady Gaga, the Illuminati Puppet generated a great deal of interest and controversy. It got featured on many websites and I was deemed either a “genius” or “batshit crazy” depending on the point of view. I can confirm that I’m neither of those two things and that I’m just a guy who knows his symbolism. Many news sites and blogs linked to my article by deforming its original intent (probably for more sensationalism) by adding sarcastic remarks like “Oh No Lady Gaga Wants to Control our Minds!” or “The Crazy Lady Gaga Conspiracy“. I guess those reactions were to be expected. To people who are not acquainted with obscure concepts such as Monarch programming and occult symbolism, the whole thing might sound totally far fetched and ridiculous. But to those who have background knowledge and who have researched these topics (a small minority), I was simply stating the obvious.

Since this article, Gaga has released more material re-using  exactly the same  themes as were discussed in the first article: mind control and secret society occultism. I have to hand it to Gaga, she knows how to generate buzz and controversy around her persona and keep people guessing. The great majority of people still have no idea what her symbolism refers to. So, at the risk of being called “batshit crazy” again here’s Lady Gaga’s latest occult pictures.

Most of Mr. Vigilant’s contentions are based on MK Ultra mind control conspiracies. In case you have any doubts about the breadth of these attempts, he points out:

During their reeducation, subjects are said to be exposed to numerous symbols such as trees, spider webs, masks, mazes, butterflies, etc. They are also shown movies which contain specific symbols (or “triggers”) such as The Wizard of Oz and many Disney Movies. The same way those subjects are brainwashed and reeducated, mass media conducts a large scale mind control project, which starts at birth with Disney movies and continues with Hollywood flicks and music videos.

Yeah, I know. Conjecture and assumptions. But Mr. Vigilant drives home the point in this article:

In my articles on Lady Gaga and the 2009 VMAs, I’ve identified the use and display of elements taken from Masonic symbolism. If my previous claims were considered inconclusive or “grasping at straws” by some, I wonder if they’ll remain skeptical of the presence of Masonic symbolism in pop culture after seeing this  set of photos, taken INSIDE A MASONIC LODGE,

01

If you have minimal knowledge of Freemasonry, you already know the great importance of the twin pillars Jachim and Boaz. They are depicted in a great number of Masonic works of art, such as this one.

Pillars of Solomon Temple

Gaga is standing between both pillars, wearing Hello Kitty shoes, occultly referring to mind control programming (innocence, childhood, re-education, etc). Her eyes are closed but she has wide-open eyes painted on her eyelids, which is very symbolic: her eyes seem open but they are still wide shut.

02

In the picture above, Gaga is sitting on a Masonic throne, complete with the twin pillars on each side of her.

Above her head is the compass of Freemasonry:

pinsmasonlg

She is wearing a Hello Kitty dress and posing in a very mannequin-like stance. Her hands are positioned in way reminiscent of iconic art which displays the hermetic maxim “as above so below”.

04

In the  picture above, Gaga is standing next to the bust of an important Mason (easily recognizable by the collar). The “one eye” symbolism discussed in the previous article is still an intricate part of Gaga’s imagery. She is however far from being the only artist doing this (see Rihanna’s R Rated album cover). Hello Kitty is covering Gaga’s…kitty in another odd juxtaposition of Masonic symbolism with mind control, often found in entertainment photo shoots.

Wow. Just… just, wow.

Over the last year, I’ve used Youtube to watch a few of her music videos (You know, it’s too bad that there’s not some TV channel that’s devoted solely to playing music videos, in the way that radio stations play tunes. Somebody would make a fortune if they could implement that idea.), and personally I’ve been struck by how detailed they are, and how she makes excellent use of imagery ranging from modern to classical. But is she streaming symbolic Illuminati messages to the masses, or is she just a clever mash-up artist?

In my opinion, since most people simply aren’t aware of the classical meanings behind most symbols (and since meaning often changes according to the contexts), then this is a particularly ineffective way of sending a signal. Personally, I just enjoy them for the effects.

If you have the time and inclination, you might be tempted to follow the links to his other articles which list examples of the symbolism and hidden/secret messages that she is sending on behalf of our Zeta-Reticulan overlords.  I rather liked the assertion that her frequent use of her fingers framing her eyes are examples of the “eye in the pyramid”, which, as everyone knows, is a Masonic symbol (finding it on the back of our money and all that).

Yeah, I know. He’s just some guy with too much time on his hands writing a blog, right? I mean, they’ll let anybody have a blog nowadays  — as witnessed by the very one that you’re reading.

But more instructive is not the blog itself, but the literally several hundred comments on these posts by people who are not just agreeing, but often augmenting them with links and information and theories of their own.  I’m less worried about the one blog than I am about the hundreds — perhaps thousands — of people who take it so seriously.

Sometimes I read these conspiracy theories and I marvel at the amount of effort that people put into them; the connections and inferences drawn, the hunt for the data, and the time taken to make these mental leaps. But other times I simply shake my head and wonder why they bother.

Maybe, when our lives simply aren’t going the way we’d like them to be, it’s just easier to point to some larger conspiracy that keeps us from achieving our goals and dreams, instead of simply accepting that sometimes — perhaps most of the time — we can’t always get what we want.

Clandestine Conspiracy Talks

May 20, 2009 Leave a comment

Coming on the heels of a great Masonic Central podcast with Chris Hodapp about conspiracy theories and secret societies, here’s an interesting article from Fox News about a clandestine meeting among a group of people who are known for their money and financial empires.

World’s Richest Moguls Met in New York for Secret Charity Meeting

What do Oprah, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, George Soros and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg have in common? It’s a secret, but I am sure you can guess.

Money.

These and a handful of other mega-moguls coordinated their busy schedules to gather for a top-secret meeting in the Big Apple to talk greenbacks — not protecting them, but spending them, according to IrishCentral.com.

It was all for a good cause, but details of the mysterious May 5 meeting are vague. What is known is that each billionaire got to speak for approximately 15 minutes on the global economic crisis and how best to support philanthropic causes, IrishCentral reports.

Others in attendance also included David Rockefeller Jr., chairman of Rockefeller Financial Services; Ted Turner, founder of CNN; and John Morgridge, former CEO of Cisco, and his wife.


Do you suppose that anyone will accuse Oprah or Bill Gates about being Freemasons or Illuminati?

Masonic Media: Secret messages in commercial broadcasts

April 15, 2009 2 comments

I thought that the X-Files and its short-lived spin-off Millenium was the last major attempt by Freemasons to pass instructions coded into broadcast media, but as I was watching television the other night, I saw what can only be a resumption of those messages.

Amateur students of Masonic Konspiracies have most likely missed the commercial  tie-in of Burger King and Spongebob Squarepants, but it did not escape me that this is a blatant attempt to pass along coded messages, and perhaps to insinuate the hidden Masonic agendas into our youth culture.

For those who may have missed the commercials, they are an ingenious method indeed; most adults would not bother to watch commercials aimed at pre-teens, and what could be a more innocuous cartoon than Spongebob? That’s the genius of the plan.

But think about the character itself: Spongebob Squarepants is a square-shaped creature, a geometric shape to which Masons frequently refer. The commercial features the rather creepy Burger King. The term “King” is too obvious for me to reference, and I won’t go into the minutiae about how “Burger” refers to the German-Austrio Hapsberg royal house. But the tie-in itself obviously references an alignment of the Freemasons – who have notably been allied with the British House of Windsor – with other members of the European royal houses. It’s not clear if the Freemasons are severing their relationship with the Windsors, or if (more likely) there is to be a merging of the lines in preparation to a One World Order.

I’m sure that there is no need to mention that the original Illuminati were from Austria.

And it wasn’t lost on me that using “rap” music was an intentional signal. Masons frequently use “raps” of gavels in their secret ceremonies, and by co-opting an old tune by “Sir” (another clue about royalty!) Mix-A-Lot was meant to catch the attentive ears of brother Masons in the English-speaking countries.

The commercial features a number of otherwise shapely young women dancing to this “rap” music, all of them wearing square-shaped boxes in their pants, which they display – indeed, call attention to – by their rhythmic shaking. Once you look past the overtly sexual innuendo, one realizes that they are shaking their “booty”, a reference to the riches to be gained by controlling the world’s monetary supply.

Man, those pants are "square"!

The Hapsburg-Illuminati “King” symbolically inspects the trustworthiness (i.e., the “squareness”) of the offer of a merger for  economic gain (i.e., the  “booty”) proposed by the rapping Freemasons.

A secondary reference, though, is that “booty” is a term associated with pirates; pirates have been in the news lately, and alert konspiracy researchers will no doubt be aware that Freemasons may have descended from the heretical Knights Templar who escaped the purge of 1307, many of whom were rumored to have taken ships and plied the Mediterranean and southern European coasts. These ships were known to have sailed under a flag on which was a picture of a skull with crossed bones – a gruesome image with is still referenced by Freemasons even today.

And in case there are still some doubting Thomases, the 30-second commercial is really just an edit of a much longer, 2-1/2 minute message that is being broadcast through the YouTube medium. I haven’t had time to decipher the entire code, but I have managed to secure a copy of the text, which I have verified by listening to the commercial a number of times. I would appreciate any help or insights from other Masonic konspiracy experts in further deciphering what appears to be a message of callipygian importance.

I like square butts and I cannot lie
Squid and Sea Star can’t deny
When a sponge walks in, four corners and his pen
Like he got phone book implants, the crowd shouts

All the ladies stare
Dang those pants are square!

Swimming through the seaweed tangle
Is a butt with sharp right angles

Now Sponge Bob, I wanna get witch-ya
‘Cuz you’re making me rich-ah
Underwater, we keep it grungy
‘Cuz everybody knows that ‘He so spongey!’

Ooh, Rumplespongeskin
You dance, but your hips don’t bend
So groove it and move it
If you got caboose, then prove it

Sponge Bob is dancing
And Squidward is glancing
He’s hatin’… wet
He’s got Sponge Bob runnin’ his set

I’m tired of all these chairs
They don’t accommodate these squares
Take the average box tell him that
You gotta have square back

Mr. Krab! Yeah!
Patrick! Yeah!
Has Sponge Bob got the butt? Oh yeah!
Then shake it, now shake it
Shake it, now shake it
Shake that cubicle butt

Sponge Bob got back

Naw, dude, I said cubicle, not booty-ful. Don’t trip.Yeah baby, when it comes to sea life, curves ain’t got nothin’ to do with Bob’s selection.
2 by 2 by 2 square trousers, working that black belt, looking like dotted lines.
That’s how Sponge Bob like to rock them threads baby.

A word to the DC sponges who wanna get wit it
And watch Sponge Bob kick it

I gotta be straight when I say you gotta scrub ’til the break of dawn.
Bob got it goin’ on
Been known to rock him a thong
Them round butts won’t admit it
But they’d wear that gear if they could fit it

You can draw his body on paper
His waistline really don’t taper
Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him
Wanna push his pores and tease him

But Sponge Bob ain’t gonna have too much of that squeezin’
You other sponges don’t want none …

…unless you rock square buns!

To the new sponges in the magazines
You ain’t it Miss Thang
We rock them cubes, gals and dudes
Put it down at the goo lagoon

Some other box must get jealous
At the moves that come from square fellas
See Bob and they wanna get him
But Sandy Cheeks she won’t let ‘em

If you happen to wander on land
And you wanna be a square butt fan
And drive the crew right to Burger King
And give that sponge a ring

Sponge Bob got back!

It’s difficult to understand just what this message means. I’m counting on everybody reading this to share their insights so that we can figure it out.

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